Introspection

I felt a need for introspection in my life to become a better human. So, this post is for me.

Goal: To know about myself and bring changes in my life to become ... I am yet to know my life's goal.

Strengths:
1. My family & friends are my assets. What ever positives I have are just because of them.
2. I like to help those who are in need.
4. I learn a lot of lessons from others particularly by observing their problems and the way they deal them.
5. I give respect to the money but not too crazy about it.
6. I always look for the scope of improvement in whatever I do.

Shortcomings:
1. Lack of proper people handling skills - Can not console/influence any one.
2. Sometimes I don't control anger, jealous,lust.
3. I am a lean,weak guy.
4. I like to learn and achieve a lot of things but don't continue to have a very strong determination to achieve them.
5. I am a lazy guy and very much forgetful in nature.

Hobbies:
1. Reading novels, spiritual works
2. Watching movies & listening/learning music.
3. Novice art

Liberation - Ashtavakra

"Wait & watch" - this is the mantra I have been following for the past few months. I have just postponed to take the decision because of conflicting opinions. Either the decision turns out to be "Yes" or "No" my future would be different. Both futures would have their own positives and negatives. And I am in no way can decide which is the better future. Then why is this struggle for?

I had a lot of arguments with in me whether to take the final decision or not. As the saying goes "Being in the state of Indecision is nothing but to be idle", it means I am doing nothing. To liberate from this indecision and inaction I started knowing about liberation. Ashtavakra Gita, a discourse from Ashtavakra to his disciple King Janaka, provides a solution to my struggle.

Ashtavakra says, "Liberation is when the mind does not long for anything, grieve about anything, reject anything, or hold on to anything, and is not pleased about anything or displeased about anything".

This knowledge is nothing but everything. Finally, is there anything in it?

Drona! Take the side of Krishna

Guru Drona was a wise scholar and he always knew the path of Truth. But still, he chose to fight along with Kauravas who were against Dharma. If he had been ignorant, it would not have been his fault. But being aware that he was fighting for the wrong side, he didn’t quit from the war. This ultimately led to his destruction.
Drawing from the similar lines, even though I knew that I was doing something wrong, sometimes I ignored my conscious and did the mistake. And afterwards I would repent a lot for doing that mistake. This whole process just leads to destruction of peace in my mind.
This again tells me to follow the conscious rather than to be killed like Drona.So, Drona! Be with the side of Truth and enjoy the peace in it.

Dad, please come early

"Daddy, Daddy, Please don't go for the walk. I want to spend some time with you. Mom, If you go, I won't talk with you," I cried. For two days my parents obliged my request but daily, they can't.

I go to school at 9 in the morning and come back at 4:30 in the evening. After having snacks, I leave for the tuition at 5:30 PM and return at 8 '0 clock. While watching some TV soaps I will have my dinner and then go to bed by 9. I really don't know whether I like this daily routine or not. But some days would be interesting, some would be dull and others would be normal. Oh! I forgot about my favorite days. Sundays! They are actually Fundays!

My dad comes late from the office. Daily, from 8:30 onwards, everyone would start looking for his arrival. Mom wants to go out for a walk with him, grandparents want to chat for some time with him and I want to play some games with him. He comes with great energy even after having a very tiring day at office. But he can't satisfy everyone. My mom pleads, quarrels with dad to come early. He says just "Okay" but wouldn't follow even on the following day.

Why do dads come late from the office?

Choice - A maya?

Lord Krishna in his song (Bhagavad Geeta) says that "Do follow the commandments of Bhagavad Geeta as His orders. He also said that."He says only what is good for us and whether to follow or not, its our choice. But finally, what He wishes will only happen."

When He knows that what ever He decides, is bound to happen, then what is the maya of choice that we have. And why He has to tell us Geeta.

Though all the three statements seem contradictory, they are facts. To experience the thrill and unravel the suspense drama in our life, we have been given choices, and are in the notion of having free will. But the final decision is already decided , untouched by any one.

Just next step

To unravel the secrets of treasure hunt, I have landed in a completely dark place. I don't know whether to put my step forward or not. But, certainly, I can't go back. Though I am lost in these dark caves, beneath the Earth, I don't want to lose the game. I want to take the next step. But...

Which direction should I move? Is there a way ahead? What is the right way? How to reach my destination? Why? Why? Why so many Questions bombarding me?

Though I don’t know the answers, I believe I have the ‘power and will’ to reach my goal. That’s the only light that can guide me. But why this fear comes and destroys my rays of hope. I should bow to the angel of Fear for courage. Iff he cools down I can see the God of Courage. It’s interesting that both the angel of fear and the God of Courage are taking their turns to spend time with me.

All I can do is just to take next step… I hope and I believe, one day, the rays of rainbow will shower on me.

What & what not to remember

In our culture & traditions, we used to always remember only good incidents and not sad and bad tragedies. For eg., 'Krishnashtami' (Lord Krishna's Birthday), 'Sree Rama Navami' (Lord Rama's B'day) which I celebrate very well since my childhood. The reason is pretty obvious - all my favorite dishes (Sweet Kheer & Vada) will be made at home and we listen a lot of interesting, valorous & moral stories of Rama and Krishna. Almost, all our festivals are either b'days or on the days various demons got killed. Many of us still don't know when Rama, Krishna ended their avatars. This tells us that we never used to remember such incidents.

But in Contrast, recent customs of labeling trajedies like American Twin towers Attack(9/11) and Typhoons as (Rita, Katrina) makes us not to forget through out our lives. And sometimes, revenge may also spring in some people. So, lets just learn the lessons from the incidents and forget. Its like this - I always celebrated Nehru's birthday as Children's Day with a lot of fun, but never cared to know when he had passed away.

"Forgiveness & Foregetfulness leads us to Peace"

Greeting Card for Sister's Marriage

My friend wants to give a greeting card for his sister’s (cousin) marriage. I accompanied him to Archies (Gift Shop) and started searching for a card that suits the occasion. We found New Year cards, Birthday cards & Valentine cards except the cards that convey wishes for sister’s marriage. We went to another place & found one card. But it was not that impressing. So we left disappointed.

I wanted to dig out the reasons for not getting what we wanted. My intelligent brain got the following reasons.

1. New Year, Birthday comes every year for everyone. But marriage can happen atmost 4 times on an average in a lifetime. (Wish that average becomes real for me :) )
2. Valentine cards can be given at any time but wedding cards can be given only during the occasion.
3. Since a wedding involves two persons, so just 50 cards are fine for 100 persons.
4. Even in those occasions there can only be 50% probability that a sister’s marriage is happening.
5. And there would be 10% probability to have a desire to give a greeting card.

Finally I will put end to this stupid analysis by partially accepting Archies though they could not fulfill our need.

Following the Herd

“Please do not follow the herd. Realize what you really wish and then pursue your goal. Listen to your self. Do not ignore it and take infinite challenges to pursue some other’s goals.” - Every one might have heard these words at some point of time. From the past few days, Raj wants to know whether he is following “his” goals and started introspection.

In his schooling the most fascinating subject was Natural Science (Physics, Botany & Zoology). To continue his interest in college the only option he knew was to become a Doctor. But it’s very difficult to get a seat in the college. Though his parents didn’t object him to choose his interests, like many of his friends he took Mathematics and Physics as major in the Pre-University studies. He was always amused by the laws of Physics but didn’t enjoy the mathematics. All the Differential mathematical problems got integrated and challenged his future. But with the motivation of his parents and teachers he managed to get into engineering.

First, he wanted to get rid of hard core mathematics. Even though IT was in deep waters by the dot com bubble, he started pursuing his studies in computer science. To his relief he found most of the computer science more or less “Common Sense” and a little bit of logical & mathematical puzzles. His interest grew and performed well in that domain.

Watching his friends getting a hefty package in a research company he too joined that company. In his work, even though he has to deal with numbers, he was able to manage it. But the only problem is that he thinks his interest is not in numbers.

There are two options in front of Raj. One is to quit from the present job & go after his interests. The other one is to develop interest in his current work leaving his preconceptions. Is it better to enjoy being a member of the herd or to come out of the herd?

Hareesh's IT Job - 80-20 rule

Like many of my other friends, Hareesh was also fascinated by the IT world. He pursued bachelors in computer science and joined an IT company. His team builds an information system for a multi-national company. He was thrilled to be part of such a great job. He loved the job and used to spend most of his day in the office. He aimed excellence in everything and so he worked very hard to achieve the quality output. But in the process he used to miss the deadlines. His inexperience in the job made the situation even worse. This had demoralized Hareesh. After a week, he called his US manager and said “I am unable to balance between the time and quality. I am missing the deadlines frequently and its demoralizing me. Is there any possibility to extend some deadlines or to have additional team members?”

His US Manager said, “Don’t worry. I too faced this dilemma initially. See Hareesh, we can follow 80-20 rule. 80% of the tasks will take just 20% of the total time and 20% will take 80% of the time. So, first complete those 80% tasks and then if you have enough time, attend to the other 20%. Most of the people would be happy if you complete just 80%. So, plan and go ahead.”

After returning from the office, Hareesh said 80-20 rule to me and praised his US manager a lot. He changed his attitude slightly according to it and achieved good results.